Life by the Word

Chapter 4

Overcoming Fear

The year was 1999.  It was a beautiful spring day as I was cruising down the turnpike in my silver Mazda Miata ragtop.  As I recall, "Brown Sugar", a Rolling Stones tune was blasting on my radio as I was trying to unwind from a long day at work.  I can't quite explain to you what happened next, but I will try my best to do so.  It was so strange, but all of a sudden, out of the blue, I had for the first time in my 37 years of life, a feeling of total fear come over me.  My head started to sweat, my body went numb, and I felt like my spirit was going to leave my body and that I was going to die.  I could barely drive the car as I called my roommate on the cell phone and tried to explain to him what was going on.  I felt paralyzed for the first time in my existence here on earth.  Can you picture this?  Me, a born-again Christian for five years feeling this anxiety?  I could not believe what I was going through.  It was as if an invisible force was trying to take me out or something, and to tell you the truth, it was horrifying.  I read of events like this happening to other people, people who are afraid to come out of their house, or are afraid to go up in elevators.  But I never thought it would happen to me.  Man was I wrong!!

I finally got home about an hour later.  I couldn't eat that night, so I went upstairs hoping this feeling of fear and anxiety would go away after a good night's sleep.  Little did I know that my life would not be same again and my thought process about my priorities here on earth would be changed forever.  For nearly one year after this day, these attacks reared their ugly head.  I would be at home, visiting relatives, at work, on vacation.  It seemed no matter where I went and what I did, there was no place safe from these horrible feelings.  I even went to a Christian counselor, but that didn't help and he couldn't quite understand what I was going through.  So I decided to head to the Christian bookstore and see if there were any books that might help shed some light on what I was dealing with.

I bought three books that day.  One about seeking God, another I believe was a devotional, and the last one I found tucked away on the bottom shelf, all the way in the right-hand corner of the spiritual warfare section.  It was a book about deliverance from demonic attacks.  I picked up the book and started to read.  To my amazement, I found the author had gone through exactly what I was suffering from.  I thought to myself, boy, this is a heavy subject, but I spent the fifteen dollars.  Heck, I would have spent five million to get these attacks to go away and to stop them from preying on my mind and body.  After reading this book, I came to the knowledge of two things.  One, there were many others who suffered from these demonic attacks, and two, deliverance from them was what I needed to cure these tormenting instigations.

I started to pray feverishly.  It was not until I was at the point of surrender that a breakthrough started to occur and I started feeling better.  Surrender; not in the sense of Appomattox in the Civil War, but a surrender of the sense of coming to the end of my rope, my strength, my will to fight.  I needed Jesus to pick up the battle for me.  If these attacks were from the spiritual world and the unseen, I needed someone who was up there and someone who had the power to defeat those tormenting beings.  I prayed to the Lord that I could no longer take this emotional tormenting.  I asked him to pick up my fight for me, and that if he wanted to, he could push these forces back in the Heavenly realm.  I started to pray scriptures back to the Father in Heaven in the name of Jesus that dealt with victory over our enemies, such as Deuteronomy 20:4.  I prayed the word of God back to him and to tell you the truth, he honored it.  God will stand on his word.  You can bet on it every time.

One year of torment, one year of a spirit of fear and death.  One year of suffering that led me to a point of surrender.  I felt a freedom that day.  A feeling like I had been paroled.  Over 365 days or so I had waited for this.  I thought the day would never come, but boy when it did, it was as if the weight of the world was off my back and shoulders.

It was amazing.  Once I came to a place of brokenness, ready to give up, God sent me a book that dealt with exactly what I was going through.  I needed the awareness and the reminder that what I was dealing with was spiritual.  I didn't need medicine, a therapist, or a self-help book.  I needed deliverance and I needed Jesus' help.  Once I came to the point of surrender and started to use the word of God in prayer, my enemies were at hand.  They were defeated in a short manner of time and I had the victory in Jesus.

Sometimes these attacks still try to come at me.  But now I just shrug my shoulders and ask Jesus to take up my fight.  In a matter of seconds, they usually go away.  What a comforting feeling to know that Jesus Christ is our defender.  I believe people would save themselves thousands of dollars on wasted therapy and self-help kits if they only had this knowledge to call upon for help.  If you or someone you know is suffering from bouts of fear, depression, anxiety, thoughts of suicide, or death, bring this information to them.  They have nothing to lose and everything to gain.  There is no greater feeling that to be freed from these tormenting demons.  Push them back in the Heavenly realm so that there are breakthroughs here on earth.  And remember always, it is written that "God did not give us a spirit of fear but a spirit of power, love and a sound mind", 2 Timothy 1:7.  If God doesn't give us a spirit of fear, who do you think does?  If you guess the enemy (Satan) you are correct.  So deal with him in Jesus' strength, not in your own.  Remember, he and his demons don't fear you and me, but they are terrified of Jesus.